I went to Newcastle’s “Psycho Path” but the scariest things there were the prices.

OK, OK – I know it is a little unorthodox for Sly Gigs to venture from music news & reviews, but I just feel the overwhelming urge to write up my experience of Lintz Hall Farm’s annual “Scream Park”. So here you go.

Growing up I always loved going on Halloween/Horror themed “interactive” experiences, from The Dungeons to city Ghost Hunts. So, naturally, when I first heard about “Pyscho Path” back in my teens, I just knew I had to go at least once. Long story short, it took years to finally find someone who’d go with me (the loner that I am), and more importantly assemble the funds necessary to buy tickets as a broke student (with general admission ticket prices being over £40). But this year, at the age of 21, the stars finally aligned.

Psycho Path entrance (Image: Amelia Neri)

Advertised as the North East’s Biggest Scream Park, “Psycho Path” is just a 25 minute drive from Newcastle’s city centre and offers free parking for customers. Luckily, I drove my boyfriend and I to the farm-turned-amusement park, but I can’t imagine how costly taxis must’ve been for non-drivers, since the place is out in the sticks.

Upon our arrival, we were given wrist bands and site maps, before being greeted by various staff members in fancy dress, whose costumes ranged from undead cheerleaders to… pigs? It was a huge mismatch I must admit, but it somehow worked to create that surreal, one-of-a-kind experience. Scare actors would interact with you while you wandered the site, allowing you to get photographs with them, etc. However, we saw some customer behaviour that was completely uncalled for, from grown adults having a near mental breakdown upon seeing a disabled actor, to drunkards grabbing actors as they passed. The latter of which really got under my skin because the “house rules” clearly state that you cannot touch the scare actors.

Photo with a very friendly Captain Jack Sparrow (Image: Amelia Neri)

The site boasted many, albeit overpriced, food and drink stalls and various insta-worthy photo-booths, and although it was a cold night, there were firepits dotted around to keep guests warm. There were also a few amusement park rides in what was dubbed the “Fearground”. I really wanted to go on a few of the rides, perhaps the dodgems or the waltzer, but OF COURSE they costed extra. You’d think for £42 a ticket, customers would be able to ride the rides advertised as part of the “Scream Park”.

According to the map (and various online sources) there were 6 horror mazes, yet my boyfriend and I could only locate 4, named: “Psycho City”, “Corn-ered”, “Isolation”, and “iScream”. The latter of which was the scariest in my opinion, but not for any reasons you may suspect. The circus themed “iScream” maze was chock full of actors in clown costumes, as well as hidden rooms. One room in particular really gave me the chills. As a wash of red light refracted of the heavy smoke in the air, we became totally blind to our surroudings. Everyone in the room at the time, including myself, began violently coughing due to the smoke… whatever they used to fill the room clearly couldn’t have been good for our lungs. The room felt very extreme for what was a pretty unasuming carnival themed maze. Regardless, the “iScream” maze was my favourite as it felt like it went on for hours (perhaps due to the smoke starving my brain of oxygen).

Inside one of the photobooths dotted around the site (Image: Amelia Neri)

The other mazes were fun and the scare actors were fantastic, but I couldn’t fight the feeling of disappointment. After queing for up to 40 minutes per maze, each one felt very rushed… and not to mention, overcrowded. I understand that “Psycho Path” needed to make back the money they lost over the pandemic, but the sheer amount of visitors (many of them drunk or on illegal substances) took away from the experience in my opinion. I would suggest that the “Scream Park” should open more days a week with a lower maximum capacity (and cheaper ticket price) and that more throrough security checks are needed upon arrival in the future.

Overall, it was a pretty fun (albeit surreal) night. Despite all the flaws I have mentioned in this review “Psycho Path” is a fun annual Halloween attraction that I would recommend to anyone over the age of 16 in the Newcastle area. That being said, I probably won’t return in 2023 as I just don’t feel like it was worth the £42 I paid per ticket… but alas, maybe I’ve just gotten too old and serious for scare mazes.

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